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10 ways to save yourself from a backyard zombie attack

Updated: May 10, 2013, 6:07 PM IST
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10 ways to save yourself from a backyard zombie attack
The human race now has to guard against creatures far more complicated than your friendly neighbourhood vampire.

New Delhi: Thirty years ago, walking through a graveyard would be the high point of a Ramsay film with interesting creatures of the night waking up from slumber to prowl on unsuspecting humans. But with advent of new technology, young writers and globalisation, the human race now has to guard against creatures far more complicated than your friendly neighbourhood vampire.

Faced with a zombie attack, can you say with assurance that you will be able to safeguard yourself and your family? The early reviews of 'Go Goa Gone' have started to pour in and almost every critic has mentioned Saif Ali Khan's look in the film. He has played a zombie hunter in the film and we go to him for tips on how to brace against a potential zombie attack.

Here's our list of 10 most effective methods which can give you an upper hand in the battle against the zombies.

There are spoilers ahead, so you're requested to come back to this article after watching the film.

Play dead: The trick which was earlier used to dodge wild animals can prove equally effective in case of zombies. Just stop breathing for few moments and zombies will consider you dead. You can get up and run once they get bored and go away.

Prevention is better than cure: Don't reveal your location to zombies. Normally, zombies don't use GPS or radar, so they are unable to trace your whereabouts unless you're the kind that takes bets with friends to spend the night at graveyards. You are on your own then.

Become a zombie: Not exactly. All you need to do is to start walking with arms bent at the sides and weird facial expressions. Your authenticity will not be questioned if you can produce blood curdling sounds. The only catch is that you need to hide your dismay once you see your ex among the exclusive zombie club.

Stay inside: Zombies don't have brains, it's just their ever rising hunger which drive them to catch living beings. They can't open doors, can't climb a tree, and can't prevent themselves from falling into pits. See, your house can't save you from hundreds of zombies but then you can always use any of the above mentioned tricks.

Avoid islands and deep forests, duh!: Last time, they were seen in a hilly region (Rise of the Zombie), and this time it's an island. Avoid going to such areas till a new film shows zombies living in an urban housing society.

Vote for change: The makers of 'Go Goa Gone' demonstrate how globalisation has brought the zombies to the land of ghosts and witches. This time, elect a government which is in favour of a closed economy. Man, we can't do business at the cost of our lives.

Befriend Russians: Hindi-Russian bhai bhai or behan-behan or bhai-behan or whatever. Just remain in their proximity as they can easily combat with walking deads. Were you more in favour of American help?

Use drugs: Yes, use drugs, not inhale. Refined drugs have a deadly effect on zombies. Watch 'Go Goa Gone' to understand the proper methodology.

Never appreciate a hot zombie: There are solid chances of a female zombie taking it very seriously. She can wait endlessly for you to return to the same spot, which you will eventually, as this will be the only exit point.

Guns: Of course, you can kill a zombie with a bullet. Then why were we discussing other methods? Simply because, guns can't be purchased from an open market in India, unlike some trigger happy countries.

First Published: May 10, 2013, 6:07 PM IST
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