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Men are insecure on how to manage the new independent woman: Author Madhuri Banerjee

Updated: February 14, 2013, 6:01 PM IST
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Men are insecure on how to manage the new independent woman: Author Madhuri Banerjee
Is breaking stereotypes the way forward for today's women?

Is breaking stereotypes the way forward for today's women? Author Madhuri Banerjee joined IBNLive readers shared her perspective on this matter with IBNLive readers.

Q. The modern day has always given women an equal opportunity. Yes they are very insecure in this men dominant world.Where do you think the barrier exists? Security of women or Opportunity given to women? Asked by: deepak krishnamurthy

A. Modern day has not always given equal opportunity to women. That's why they have been fighting for equal rights since the dawn of time. Women are not insecure about their place in the world. The men are insecure on how to manage the new independent woman.

Q. Is breaking stereotypes the way forward for today's women? Asked by: Sasi

A. Yes. We need to start breaking the traditional stereotypes of a woman's place is in the home, a woman should not speak too loudly, a woman who drinks or smokes is too "fast". These stereotypes have to go. And now. Women are intelligent smart capable beings and need to be treated as equals or better than men.

Q. A lower caste woman would still see a lower caste man as a comrade and an upper caste woman as an oppressor. Upper caste women living in Delhi, Mumbai often support women reservation in the Lok Sabha but complain about lower caste getting reservation. Until upper caste women accept there must also be a redistribution of power internally among women, one billion rising is just a nice sounding slogan Asked by: Bhavya

A. Reservation in any way goes against merit. Start at a base level of giving equal opportunity for education and food to everyone. Redistribution of power will only come when there is no reservation at any level.

Q. Do you think religion is the only force that is defining stereotypes against women? I am referring to the ban on all girl rock band in Kashmir. It was based on religious stereotypes. Asked by: Sibtain Hyder

A. Religion is one such stereotype. Bans of any kind are regressive for the society. Creativity should never be curbed.

Q. Breaking stereotype is a welcome gesture. Does that mean men bashing? Some where in your answers you said women may be better than men. Why not equal. Isn't it stereotyping at reverse? Asked by: sarin

A. Because women can be smarter, more intelligent, capable of multi tasking, have heightened levels of sensitivity, sharpness, board room skills and home making traits. Now let's compare this with a man. Ask him to drop a kid to school, make a presentation in a boardroom, buy groceries on the way back, cook dinner and read to his child at night. A simple story. How will he ever be "equal" with a woman when he can never match up!

Q. As per the latest regulation in Bihar state, the usage of mobile phones are banned for women.According to you, how does it affect or effect on security and safety of women? Asked by: deepak krishnamurthy

A. It's stupid and regressive. Give all women mobile phones across the country for free. They'll be a happier lot and safer too.

Q. I feel women have had it in them to progress since many a decades. But this is time, wherein the scope and focus has finally showered upon them. Be it in films, politics and other areas, women are notching up heights. But still there is a certain amount of pessimism with regard to a man's behavior and thoughts upon women. This needs to be curbed, so what do you think shall make it happen? Asked by: Sandeep Rao

A. There are many men who still think a woman "deserves it." That she wears provocative clothes and deserves rape. That she is irritable at home and deserves to be told to shut up in front of people.We need to change the mindset and stand up for the women who don't have the confidence to stand up for themselves. I've written about this in my blog: http://madhuribanerjee.blogspot.in/2013/02/violence-against-women-she-deserved-it.html?spref=tw

Q. Sorry to say ma'am. But now a days men also do the things which you have mentioned from dropping a kid at school to cooking. Asked by: sarin

A. Rare.

Q. Breaking patriarchy has to be a two way street. I have seen many women who talk of fighting patriarchy when it suits them and expecting seeking chivalry from a man and expecting him to provide even if it means he is stuck in a job he doesn't like. Women must learn to pay the rent and bills also when fighting patriarchy. One can't have her cake and eat it too Asked by: Divya

A. I completely agree. Women should also contribute to a house. But they also like a bit of romance. There's no harm in a man/ spouse taking them out for a nice dinner occasionally or giving them a gift. Not everything in life has to be "dutch". But they should support their husbands economically as well as emotionally.

Q. There are men who respect women and vice versa. According to me, it is an every individual's responsibility to understand the mutual importance.How can a protest or demand for the law can enlighten illiterates? According to you, what could be the solution for this? ( This country is very reluctant in punishing culprits) Asked by: deepak krishnamurthy

A. I agree. There are many men who respect women. We're not talking about those men here. Erudite men in powerful positions also demean a woman. And they're not illiterate. Politicians, CEOs, and many men with money disrespect women. we need to change their mindset before we can even begin to start with the illiterates. I feel changing the illiterate mindset is easier.

Q. What's your take on the women who cross the line and become dominating. Thrash everyone in the process - the relationships, etc., How to interact with them? Asked by: Madhur

A. Way to go! Whatever floats their boat I say.

Q. Can a mass movement put an end to violence against women? Asked by: Isha

A. Any movement can start putting an end to violence. Awareness brings about change.

Q. I'm a hard working women and see many women going up the ladder using their charms. Women like me are left behind. How to bring the change at workplace & succeed in such a difficult situation? Asked by: seema

A. Do what you need to. Leave the rest to destiny.

Q. Do you think that erotic portrayal of women in movies have some role in this prospect of exploitation? Asked by: anurag

A. Well there have been many portrayals of kind hearted people giving to the poor, donating their time to change society and helping the aged. We don't see any change in society there!

Q. Your views on one billion rising campaign. Asked by: RK

A. If One Billion people rise against violence against women, we can change the future for our children. We can be a nation that can lead the world into peace.

Q. There are many women who are actually suffering due to other women like mother-in law or sister-in law politics. How should innocent girls deal with them? Asked by: Gunjan

A. Stand up for yourself. If women are "suffering" then stop suffering. Say something. Communicate. Come to a consensus. Take a stand on something. If you don't like it, change it.

Q. How does a redistribution of power between low caste and high caste women happen if there is no affirmative action. As I said before treating one billion people as a homogenous united group is wishful thinking. For low caste women, upper caste women are also their oppressors. Asked by: Bhavya

A. First of all, are we still discussing the caste system in 2013? Wow! If a low "economic" class of women feel that a higher earning woman is their oppressor, then only when we start respecting each other can that change. It needs to start with the individual. This program is to make each individual aware.

First Published: February 14, 2013, 6:01 PM IST
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