Condoms, cigarettes and bones: What exactly is JNU made up of?

Entrance of Jawaharlal Nehru University in New Delhi.

Entrance of Jawaharlal Nehru University in New Delhi.

The grim reality of JNU students that we need to face.


Pathikrit Sanyal

Universities are made of more than just bricks and mortar. They are made of ideas and principles and inquisitive minds and knowledgeable teachers. They’re made up of philosophies and books and education and a quest to learn. They are made up of freedom too.

JNU on the other hand is made up of no such thing. And if reports are to be believed, the very foundation of this so called “prestigious arena of academia” (though some would call it a circus of toxic ideologies and infantile tantrums) is a mixture of condoms, abortion injections, cigarette stubs, beedi parts, and bones (big and small).

Irrefutable proof of the daily dose of debauchery that goes on inside JNU every day.

How do we expect anything good to come out of a place like this? Where are the liberal anti-national heroes now? This cannot be defended. Further research shows that this is just the tip of the iceberg. The truth is just so much worse than what we could have ever imagined.

Our research team infiltrated the campus and collected data, while putting their lives and ideologies at jeopardy. What they found will shock you.

JNU students consume alcoholic drinks like beer and rum. JNU students discuss ideas after the consumption of these toxic drinks. They debate upon these ideas without getting violent. WITHOUT GETTING VIOLENT. Oh, the horror. Some of these students sing. Some even dance. And some, I shudder as I type this, even watch good cinema and enjoy good literature.

They wear kurtas and carry jholas and eat food. They drink water. And my sources confirm, though we couldn’t really gather photographic evidence of it at all, that JNU students even breathe oxygen. I am ashamed. I am ashamed that we are part of a society that allows things like this to happen. I am ashamed that we let them be, when they carry out seditious activities like living and having fun and behaving like young people should.

Look at these rebellious JNU students dressed in western wear and hanging out with the opposite sex.

JNU Students breathing the clean air. Disgusting.

JNU students destroying our nation’s moral fiber by consuming non-Patanjali noodles.

JNU student hurting patriotic sentiments with his swagger

JNU student inflaming impressionable minds with a bad karaoke of “Hotline Bling”

JNU students indulging in casual conversation. Do they have no shame?

JNU Students blowing up tax payer’s precious monies during frequent sutta breaks.

Evil seditious JNU student beating up poor patriotic dafli.

I urge you now, brothers and sisters, that we join hands and we stand up to these people who think that they can get away with having safe sex and population control and smoking cigarettes in and drinking alcoholic beverages (who even does that?) and eating non-vegetarian food (I’m assuming the bones amount to that and not some weird satanic ritual) so rampantly. How much more of this should we suffer?

Disclaimer: This was a satire piece.

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