Home » News » Buzz » 'Harbhajan Singh is a compulsive hooker': 40 hilarious Ravi Shastri quotes that are too embarrassing to be real
3-MIN READ

'Harbhajan Singh is a compulsive hooker': 40 hilarious Ravi Shastri quotes that are too embarrassing to be real

'Harbhajan Singh is a compulsive hooker': 40 hilarious Ravi Shastri quotes that are too embarrassing to be real

Ravi Shastri is the Jerry Seinfeld of cricket commentary. His quips are the reason dinosaurs are dead today.

We speak for millions of Indians when we say that Ravi Shastri may be a great cricketer but his commentary...well...you know...sucks. But a strange thing happened over the years as Shastri kept repeating the same, tired cliches every game. He has become the go-to man for meme-makers on social media sites as someone with a wealth of one-liners that will make you want to put a fork through your eye.No one loves Shastri more than us, we do. But when we plunged the depths of Quora, we found this very entertaining post that has a collection of his best one-liners. Here, the users are basically wondering if he's a troll. We picked the gems. Enjoy that fork through your eye.

####

A Quora user points out - “during the morning session of a Test match in India, Shashtri says ‘As the day progresses, it’s only going to get hotter'". Hello face, meet palm. - Manas Mishra on Quora

“He never takes a position. When a run out appeal is referred, here is what he generally says - I just got the feeling that this is going to be really close". No, really? - Manas Mishra on Quora

It’s a relief that he’s good at maths. This Quora user pointed out: India was 160/5 at 40 overs and here is what Shastri had to say ‘If these 2 consolidate and try to reach 200 by 45 overs without losing more wickets, then they can really stretch and get to 230 or even 235 by end of 50 overs’. So you want them to consolidate and score at 8 runs per over and then really go berserk at 6 runs per over. - Manas Mishra on Quora

“If India wants to win here, they’ll need to play well". - Shrinidhi Sondur on Quora

India vs Sri Lanka match, India won the toss and chose to bat. Ravi Shastri on-air just at the start of the innings: “India will look to score some runs while Sri Lanka will be looking to pick up wickets." I thought they will be looking to score goals. - Adwait Deshmukh on Quora

“In the end, the team which outscores the other will win!" - Priyank Chaudhary

Via: Unreal Times.

Via @maxdavinci on Twitter, who has programmed Shastribot.

“India has been in tremendous form, and surely they look confident to win this game. (pause) “But Sri Lanka is one resilient team. They won’t give in easily. They just might win too. (pause) “And we all know the game of cricket too well to rule out the possibility of a draw." Even my then 10-year-old cousin did an enormous facepalm. And I was disappointed that Mr. Shastri missed the possibility of a meteor shower massacre. - Mihir Kshire on Quora

" Harbhajan Singh is a compulsive hooker."

Painful. - Pratyaksh Rawat on Quora

- Make no mistake about it, this is a pressure cooker situation.

- The next few overs are at a crucial stage of the game.

- This match is going to go down to the wire.

- The atmosphere is electrifying.

- He flashes & flashes hard.

- That went like tracer bullet.

- One just gets the feeling…blah blah..

- He’s firing on all cylinders

- He is seeing the ball like a football.

- What a match it has been..more than 600 runs scored today..

- Just what the doctor ordered.

- He is going all guns blazing.

- Will do his confidence a world of good.

- Kind of a player who can change the course of a match in a few overs

- Touch and go

- The game is evenly poised now.

- The crowds have got their money worth.

- Plenty of entertainment for the crowd.

- He made it look so easy.

- Ladies & gentlemen it’s the time for the presentation.

- Let me introduce the presentation party.

- News from the centre is that …

- Dealing in boundaries.

- Running hard for the second one.

- Up goes the finger.

- To losing captain..well hard day at the office today…you were outperformed in all 3 departments of the game. - Aamir Rasheed on Quora

“So Bresnan departs without tickling the scorers". - Abhimanyu Singh on Quora

Shastri - “Pujara showing that he likes batting"

Thank you Ravi Shastri for that insight. We were wondering if he was forced into playing cricket. - Akash Gupta on Quora

He knows one or two words of every local language in India and shouts that every time at the toss. - Utkarsh Sharma, Quora

first published:August 08, 2014, 16:31 IST