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'I'm a man. A guy kept smiling at me weirdly. My fly was open!' 10 hilarious incidents these daily Delhi Metro commuters will never forget

'I'm a man. A guy kept smiling at me weirdly. My fly was open!' 10 hilarious incidents these daily Delhi Metro commuters will never forget

If you're a regular in the Delhi Metro, these hilarious incidents will remind you of a few you've faced yourself!

The Delhi Metro is hailed as the lifeline of the capital. It's hard to imagine how people travelled in Delhi a decade ago with no metro trains around. Imagining taking 2 hours while changing three buses to reach college! The metro rail is bliss for office goers, students, and shopaholics; just hop on to a metro train and travel comfortably in an air conditioned coach that will take you to work right on time on most days of the year. Wait, did we say comfortable? There are certain unwritten rules of the Delhi metro that every daily commuter knows by heart. You will never find a place to sit during office hours, Rajiv Chowk is where the entire population of Delhi seems to gather when you most desperately need to get on a metro, and the Dwarka-Noida metro track will definitely have a technical snag if it rains in Delhi for more than 10 minutes.There have been a few odd incidents that raised issues about passenger safety in the metro. Yesterday the doors of a metro train were left open while it was moving and some time ago there was an incident where the metro started off while a man was left hanging on to the doors! While these two are among the most petrifying incidents ever in the decade long history of the Delhi metro, there are a few funny incidents that daily commuters share on the Facebook page 'Delhi Metro Confessions' and on Quora. We've got ten real incidents that happened on the Delhi Metro that are funny, embarrassing, and will evoke a few giggles every time you read them.

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A regular in the Delhi Metro, Gargi Singh shared this hilarious incident:

”CISF Personnel: Knife hai bag mein? (Is there a knife in your bag?)

Friend: No

*My friend takes out a paper cutter from his bag.*

CISF Personnel: Haan yeh. (yeah, that’s it)

Friend: Paper cutter hai.

CISF Personnel: Gardan nahi kategi? (Can it slit throats?)

Friend: Kat jayegi (it could)

CISF Personnel: Matlab neembu bhi kat jayega (That means it can slice a lemon as well).

The CISF Personnel took the cutter from my friend, sliced a lemon into half and squeezed it into a glass to make lemonade. Then he cleaned the cutter, returned it to my friend and said, “Jao" (you can leave now!)”

“I was on the Delhi metro sometime in January this year waiting to make my way towards the door when we arrived at Rajiv Chowk during the rush hour. Rajiv Chowk is of course, the most crowded metro station in Delhi.

We arrived at Rajiv Chowk and just a few seconds before the doors opened to let one crowd out and another in, two guys near the door shouted ‘Spartans! Prepare for glory!’” – recalls Abhishek Nayar, an entrepreneur.

You must always look perfect! “It happens every day while I am returning from my office in Gurgaon to Delhi. The moment the train enters the underground tunnel after Qutb Minar station, every girl in my compartment looks up and checks herself in the window (which has turned into a mirror because of the darkness outside). The whole thing is spontaneous, perfectly synchronized and independent of the rush,” shares another daily commuter.

Never mess with an angry woman. Akshat Sood confirms. “This happened to me at Noida Sector 18. An angry lady was on the phone and entered the train. Everyone started starting at her. Just as the prompter was announcing that eating inside the train is prohibited, she opened a pack of Lay’s. The guy next to her stared at her again. This time she retorted “Aapko bhi chahiye kya? (Do you also want it?"And everyone looked away.”

It isn’t always a good day. “I had to go in the other direction from the platform I was on. I figured it was only 2 stations to the terminating station where the train would reverse its direction in my favour and I would be assured a definite seat. So I entered the last coach of the metro, found a seat and plugged in the earphones.

On the reverse journey after the last station, I noticed only ladies were getting in but didn’t bother. After 4 stations or so, a girl sitting opposite me got my attention and mouthed “women’s coach". Had to stand for next 8 stations!”

And sometimes you may meet really nice people on a train. “I was carrying my guitar and travelling on the blue line when some 4 ‘harayanvi jats’ (I am fond of them), asked me “yo guitar hai kya? (Is this a guitar?)" I said yes, to which they responded “yo humko bhi bajana sikha de. (Can you teach us how to play it?)"

Playing along with the jovial conversation I said okay! The guys then asked my number and what fee I would charge. I said 2k (jokingly). One of the guys took out money and offered it to me and when I realized those people were serious; I told them I was a student and won’t really have time to teach. Through the rest of the journey they told me to call them whenever I had trouble … good people!”

Here’s something we’ve all done at least once. “After the announcement, ‘DOORS WILL OPEN ON THE LEFT,’ I see people raising their hands to check which their left/right hand is!”

Cheenu Madan from Delhi narrates an incident that happened to his friend. “He was coming back home from Noida in the Delhi Metro during the office hours, so the train was jam-packed as usual with barely enough space to breathe, let alone stand.

A passenger’s elbow accidentally hit another passenger’s face. An argument started between two and they were close to getting physical when they were interrupted by a third passenger who said, (translated to English), ‘Don’t start a fight. There isn’t enough space!’”

This one takes the cake. “This one time I was in the metro and I could feel someone’s gaze on me. I was getting stared at. By a guy. And he had a weird smile on his face. Almost lewd. Thankfully, the station I had to get off at was the next one.

As I started to get out he stopped me and said, ‘Aapki zip khuli hai (Your fly is open).’ And then he winked. People around guffawed. Awkward. Embarassing. But I got to write about it, so it’s cool. Safe to say, I always make sure everything’s proper when I step into the metro,” writes Harshil Gurha on Quora.

“I once got a seat when I boarded the metro at Rajiv Chowk. Does that count as weird or funny?” Definitely counts as weird!

first published:July 18, 2014, 08:59 IST