Smartphones, laptops, apparel, milk, gardening tools, cricket bats, cereals, bananas, a Blu-ray disc of Baghban - you name it and the item is probably already listed on Amazon's e-commerce website for you to purchase and have it delivered on your doorsteps, all from the comfort of your home.
But have you ever thought of buying yourself a date for Valentine's day (online)?
Amazon Dating lets you do just that, except you cannot really buy another person nor the website is in anyway affiliated to the OG Jeff Bezos' Amazon.
The satirical website developed by content creators Ani Acopian, Suzy Shinn, Morgan Gruer & Thinko, takes a not-so-subtle dig at the online dating culture and the toxicity that comes along with it.
This is apparent as soon as you click on the "Your Last Relationship" tab on the parody website and are instantly reminded of why it was your "last relationship".
Playing on the commodification of individuals as items for sale on dating apps, Amazon Dating greets you with the Amazon-esque message, urging you to check the "Deals of the Day" to get maximum returns.
We "bought" Teddy for $20 (Rs 1400). Aged 87 with the coveted height of 6'9" (nice), Teddy comes with certain "product details".
1) Teddy doesn’t feel guilty about staying in on Saturday night
2) He leaves a voicemail every time
3) Will watch the sunset with you
The faux customer review only added to the hilarity, one of which read thus:
"To be honest , I wasn't expecting much, but it had a partial charge right out of the box, and it didn't take long at all for it to be doing all kinds of actions that just tickled the heck out of everybody!! My 9-year-old grandson, especially, was quite taken with it. So a very cute toy that was exactly as described and did not disappoint!"
If you happen to be an Amazon Prime member, then you get Teddy delivered on the same day as your "purchase" for absolutely free.
Once you confirm your order, an Amazon-like order confirmation message pops on the screen.
Not all customers, however, were pleased with their orders. One of them who "bought" 78-year-old Cora was disappointed that the product had died in a few months of purchase.
"I bought this as a birthday present to my single self in November. Had a good life, really enjoyed, easy to hold. But it died just last month! it was working at like half strength. it was extremely weak and then it died completely. I expected a reliable product but it's not worth the buy if it dies only a few months later. Very disappointing!" read the faux comment.
The satirical website is laced with several "RickRolls", one of them is triggered when you click on the "Help" tab. Please don't.
One of the masterminds of the website informed Twitterverse about their invention and wrote, "I wasn’t having much luck with dating apps so i partnered with @amazon to make a better one (sic)". When Insider got in touch with the real spokesperson of Amazon, "no comments" was the response from the e-commerce website, suggesting that the parody website has nothing to do with the OG one.
Amazon Dating was received well on Twitter, nonetheless.
Non ghosting agreement…I’m dead, so good!— Kunal Tandon (@KunalTandon) February 4, 2020
Worst thing about Amazon Dating is that it's always out of stock.— Tobias ᴠᴀɴ sᴄʜɴᴇɪᴅᴇʀ (@vanschneider) February 4, 2020
The level of detailing by the creators and developers on the fake website didn't go unappreciated.
the attention to detail is amazing.Those batshit amazon product urls, the header copy and links, cheaper second-hand options for third parties…hats off— Chris Maddox (@comaddox) February 4, 2020
Still hoping to find that soulmate tucked inside the unswiped pages of a dating app? You've been warned.