Within all the commotion, Stand-up comic Tanmay Bhat of All India Bakchod decided to tell a little story about a debate that happened when he was in school. This supposed 8th grade school debate had a sensitive issue like "Should India go to war against Pakistan over Kashmir?" as the Topic.
Bhat's story involved him speaking against it and his opponent using a simple parable like throwing stones till the breaking point as his argument. In this supposed story, Bhat's opponent ended his "argument" with "Bharat Mata ki Jai" and got a mass response from all the students.
Here's a thing that happened with me when I was in school. (1/1)
— Tanmay Bhat (@thetanmay) September 19, 2016
It was the annual school debate and I was a participant. I was going up against a very sharp student. I was anxious about my topic. (1//)
— Tanmay Bhat (@thetanmay) September 19, 2016
The topic given to us was "Should India go to war against Pakistan over Kashmir?" - I was supposed to argue against the motion. (1/3)
— Tanmay Bhat (@thetanmay) September 19, 2016
I was relieved. I was in 8th grade and I felt that people dying for no reason isn't the solution. Don't ask, I was a weird kid. (1/4)
— Tanmay Bhat (@thetanmay) September 19, 2016
I was well prepped for the debate with facts about how wars can be expensive, destructive etc. etc. You know, crazy people arguments. (1/5)
— Tanmay Bhat (@thetanmay) September 19, 2016
I went up first in front of 200 kids in the 8th grade, and all my teachers, and tried to convince them that war is a bad idea. (1/6)
— Tanmay Bhat (@thetanmay) September 19, 2016
I thought I did reasonably well. Some of the kids seemed convinced that pointless killing was futile (weirdos) Teachers looked proud. (1/6)
— Tanmay Bhat (@thetanmay) September 19, 2016
Twas time for my opponent (an 8th grader) to convince others (8th graders) that we should nuke Pakistan (probably including 8th graders) 1/7
— Tanmay Bhat (@thetanmay) September 19, 2016
The kid got onto stage and began narrating an incident. Genius, begin with an anecdote. Should've thought of that myself. 1/9
— Tanmay Bhat (@thetanmay) September 19, 2016
"When we were in PT period yesterday, I threw a stone into my dear friend Tanmay's pocket..." He said. (1/10)
— Tanmay Bhat (@thetanmay) September 19, 2016
"The first time I did it, he got annoyed and shouted at me. So I did it again. This time again he shouted at me" He continued. (1/11)
— Tanmay Bhat (@thetanmay) September 19, 2016
"I did it 4-5 times. He went and complained to the teacher. But even that didn't stop me.." (1/11)
— Tanmay Bhat (@thetanmay) September 19, 2016
"Until the final time that I threw a stone in his pocket, he got up and pushed me.." Stunned silence in the audience right now. (1/12)
— Tanmay Bhat (@thetanmay) September 19, 2016
"Now you tell me, if Tanmay can hit me back for doing something so small like throwing stones, WHY CAN'T WE ATTACK PAKISTAN!" (1/13)
— Tanmay Bhat (@thetanmay) September 19, 2016
"And he toh is a friend! IF HE CAN DO IT, WHY CAN'T WE AS ENEMIES ATTACK THEM!" - I could see concentric circles forming in 8th grade eyes
— Tanmay Bhat (@thetanmay) September 19, 2016
He ended his speech by yelling Bharat Mata Ki (no jokes) while 8th graders yelled JAIII officially giving their consent for violence. (1/15)
— Tanmay Bhat (@thetanmay) September 19, 2016
The teachers watched in horror. They were the judges of course and I won't the debate. But none of the students thought I deserved to.
— Tanmay Bhat (@thetanmay) September 19, 2016
While as a story, it does speak on several levels about knee-jerk decisions and blind jingoism, it seems pretty unlikely that any school would pit 13-year-olds against each other in such a volatile and politically charged debate. Fake story or not, it still is an entertaining and intelligent read.
