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Manoj Bajpayee Contemplated Suicide After Being Rejected Thrice from National School of Drama


Last Updated: July 02, 2020, 20:27 IST

Actor Manoj Bajpayee

Actor Manoj Bajpayee

Manoj Bajpayee recalls his journey in Mumbai as an outsider and how at times even a light snack seemed too expensive to afford.

Bollywood actor Manoj Bajpayee has opened up on his struggling days in Bollywood and his journey to the city of dreams in a latest interaction with Humans of Bombay. While Manoj may have become a renowned star in the industry now, but he turned the clock back to the time when he was struggling and rented a chawl with 5 friends in the city.

Manoj also shed light on how he had suicidal thoughts when he was rejected by National School of Drama (NSD) thrice and in order to make sure that he did not take any drastic step, his friends would sleep besides him and would not leave him alone.

Manoj further recalls the time when "even a vada pav was costly." He goes on to add that he was asked to leave after he gave his first shot and faced constant rejection for four years till he got his first break in a Mahesh Bhatt TV series. Check out what Manoj has to say about his life as a struggling artist in Mumbai with no connections to the film industry whatsoever and how he became the star we know now.

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“I’m a farmer’s son; I grew up in a village in Bihar with 5 siblings–we went to a hut school. We led a simple life, but whenever we went to the city, we’d go to the theatre. I was a Bachchan fan & wanted to be like him. At 9, I knew acting was my destiny. But I couldn’t afford to dream & continued my studies. Still, my mind refused to focus on anything else, so at 17, I left for DU. There, I did theatre but my family had no idea. Finally, I wrote a letter to dad–he wasn’t angry & even sent me Rs.200 to cover my fees! People back home called me ‘good for nothing’ but I turned a blind eye. I was an outsider, trying to fit in. So, I taught myself English & Hindi–Bhojpuri was a big part of how I spoke. I then applied to NSD, but was rejected thrice. I was close to committing suicide, so my friends would sleep next to me & not leave me alone. They kept me going until I was accepted. That year, I was at a chai shop when Tigmanshu came looking for me on his khatara scooter–Shekhar Kapur wanted to cast me in Bandit Queen! So I felt I was ready & moved to Mumbai. Initially, it was tough–I rented a chawl with 5 friends & looked for work, but got no roles. Once, an AD tore my photo & I’ve lost 3 projects in a day. I was even told to ‘get out’ after my 1st shot. I didn’t fit the ideal ‘hero’ face–so they thought I’d never make it to the big screen. All the while, I struggled to make rent & at times even a vada pav was costly. But the hunger in my stomach couldn’t dissuade my hunger to succeed. After 4 years of struggle, I got a role in Mahesh Bhatt’s TV series. I got Rs.1500 per episode–my first steady income. My work was noticed & I was offered my first Bollywood film & soon, I got my big break with ‘Satya’. That’s when the awards rolled in. I bought my first house & knew…I was here to stay. 67 films later, here I am. That’s the thing about dreams–when it comes to turning them into reality, the hardships don’t matter. What matters is the belief of that 9-year-old Bihari boy & nothing else.” -- HOB with @sonylivindia brings to you the story of Manoj Bajpayee, whose life has come full circle. To watch his award winning performance in Bhonsle, click on the link in bio!

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Manoj's movie Bhonsle is now streaming on Sony LIV.

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